Helen-A tale of earthly delights

As you make your way in the night, you head towards where you know you can feed from safe vessels for a fee.
The air seems like there is a slight chance of rain but ses clear for now. Spring time.
Your attire attracts little attention and you move unmolested.

My mind wanders back in time as i don my shoes and lock the door behind me. Lost in thought i listen to the echoes my steps leave behind when i descent the stais to the entrace of the building.

I remember the first night i set foot outside as one of the Cains children. How cautiously i opened the heavy door and peeked into the half lit streets of this district.

Time flows like a river, and i am unchanging. My body craves its sustenance each and every night, and my mind is tortured until sunrise. Sometimes its bearable, sometimes i cant stand looking in the mirror. The voices, the suffering we cause to people. I feel ashamed of myself when the truth about my existence is laid so bare and tangible before my very eyes, in my mind, whispered or shouted in my ears. "Leech, corruptor, egoistical monster..."

I am striding down the street, in a vague direction of the infamous establishment. Basicaly a slavers pen with benefits. I allways pay extra for my fix, hoping the money i make would make posititve difference in the life of those as misfortunate as i was when we arrived into this city so long ago. Decades, ago.

I finaly notice i never stopped listening, as i pass a person rushing home on the opposite side of the street, and its heartbeat sounds in my head, almost as if it was my own. The hunger tugs at my very essence as i feel drawn to it, subtily masquerading itself as genuine longing for the touch of the living humans... I press the hoodie tighter to my body and quicken the pace, as the sharp needle of despair born of the loneliness this cursed existence has brought up to me hits my sensitive spot. I had recognised it tonight, i am no longer one of them, the moment i would get comfortable at the warm touch of their presence it would strike at their heart. And feed...

"Where are you Sire? I need your guidance. I value this freedom, and realise how infernal a treatment would you exact upon me for slacking on my duties, but this ... Distance from even you... its crushing. Someone, help"

I consciously make space between me and anyone passing by, secretly hoping someone, maybe an angel, would step in and drag me from this shadowy pale existence back to the lit side of the streets. I miss my heartbeat, my breath, my feelings i no longer remember. The heat of my flushed body and the sound of my laught.

"Helen, you have a duty. Find the prophercy, and speak. He will come when the time is right, if not now... Dont let yourself kill them and you should be fine. Just dont even..."
I feel my teeth itch as i remember the man, pale, hardly even breathing, lying before me as i taste the trickle of blood of my mouth as i reveled in the momentary satisfaction.

I sharply turn into a less used side street and focus myself to tune the perception down until its no longer making me hear every noise around. Beter to feel no connection to them, no aftertaste of their life on my senses. Just emptyness and angry hunger.

"God its going to be a long night..."
I brace myself and set off again towards my destination.

"What was he thinking, sending a defenseless girl..."
My steps grow longer as i imagine her running from me, and me following her as i wished i would...

A slight pressure {"You have need of me?"}
Your Sires voice enters your head a slight touch of concern .{what is wrong?"}
He sounds almost paternal tonight.

"I..."

In my mind a memory of the cup filled with his vitae for me to drink flashes, induced by my hunger, and the raw potency of it compared to human blood.

I waltz into secluded spot out of sight.

"I am sorry sire... I never meant to disturb you." I speak in a lower voice.

I force myself back to the grisly scene i witnessed underground
"I, spoke to a Lady of Abilsmard. She was able to "connect" with me, during my vision. I, managed to pierce her veil and..."
I close my eyes, in futile attempt to not relive the scene in my head, my fangs show as my darker instincts hungrily observe the bloodletting i remember.

"I had realised how i care more for their blood than their well being. I walk the streets even now, and they are so distant from me, and i am painfully aware of that. I had spend blood to fuel the connection, and now i am hungry. I fear what awaits me, after i drink tonight. It is so plain before my eyes that i am alone, and i may harm them when i taste their blood. And the worst of all, i dont feel for them. I fear for myself, and desire their blood. Since i had awoken from the long sleep, i was slowly working myself back among them. But now i am once again where i was, this curse clawing at me and wrestling any sort of connection i had with them from me."

Worst of all, i want to cry, i want to feel sorry, i want to show emotion, but my dead heart doesnt beat for me anymore.

"A monster we are lest a monster we become, childe."
He offers this platitude.
"Is fitting in with humanity useful? I imagine so. The masquerade is vital and all...but though once we were of the children of Seth, now we are as the children of Caine. Our rules are different than theirs. We are kindred and they the kine. We drink of them to substain ourselves. You, you seem to have a gift, you see more of them when you drink."
You imagine him smiling in your minds eye.
"My precious. Your insights will change the world some night."
He digests what you said.
"I believe I know of whom you speak. She is a vain creature but not without power. You got one over on that old bitch, Good for you."
He seems proud of you.

"If you starve yourself you will only end up frenzying and feeding on any number of people. Take care."

"There are ways to connect with the mind. Auspex developed."
...
"Go feed. You are still doing that?"
...
"Go to ----address. Still paying to feed." he seems disapointed.

I resume marching, being now more comfortable with my thoughts.

"You had taught me all i could. I dont think i can reach the next step. It takes a lot longer than anything i trained and no results. I can keep trying, and i will, but i fear its as far as my blood reaches. Similar to how powerfull elders have advanced powers i cant even fathom to understand, it seems my weak blood just cant access even the usual.

Yes, i am on my way. I would not do well on my task tonight either way, the hunger distracting me or the blood... It almost accounts the same.
I cant do otherwise. I lack any experience or powers for hunting. And this way i can at least give the coin to those who need them the most."

"Go the address I just told you. I don't like having to repeat myself childe."
A slight edge to his voice.
"You will find what you need there. Tell them the pass phrase "truth in the mirror". You will see new truths."

As you go, you notice the path diverge.
Eventually you find yourself outside a non-descript building.
The door has a slot window that can be pulled back from the inside, presumably where one could give a passcode.

Tell them the pass phrase "truth in the mirror".

As instructed i approach the door and decide to first follow the common logic and try to knock on the door, heavily enough to make sound.

A pair of eyes looks thru the slot they pull back on the other side.
"What's the passcode?"
You see their eyes slightly flash.

A little unnerved and afraid of this eerie sitation i firmly follow my instructions:

""truth in the mirror""

Without a word it slides shut and the door is opened.
"Please enter honored guest."

He leads you into a room.



A man smiles at you.
"How's it shakin hot mama? I got you. I got you, ya dig?"

(Jimmy stop inserting yourself into the story! )

I once again forget to breathe as the nervouseness strikes me when the small space shuts down.

"Honoured guest? What did i just got myself into..."

I slightly nod my head on the man and let myself be escorted. Then another man appears, one i am really not comfortable with at all.

I take a moment to stare at both and using my enhanced senses i try to discern whether they breathe properly and their hearts beat. To know whether to uphold the masquerade or just spit out what my darker side has on my tongue ready to cry out.

Spoiler:

"Ehh, hi. And, yes..."

I stammer, trying to buy time and not finding any more proper words to answer his late question.

The door greeter is not beating and is inhumane.
The other is but you can tell he is one of those kindred who can eat and blush.
"Right on. I feel you, shorti. Right this way."
He leads you to a room. within you see a selection of mortals reclining comfortably.
"Check it each of these like lived. Great experiences."
He smiles

"So, they are both with us it seems... Weird how i got used to discerning those sort of things. My own is unbeating, and the breathing just became harder."

I inhale sharply, mimicking that gathering of courage, and exhale, as if dispelling the stress. Then i follow fellow kindred to yet another room in this suspicious building.
"Uhm." I acknowledge his instructions and follow him cautiously, picking sounds from around to not let myself get into any trouble.

"What do you mean?" I turn sharply onto my companion and patiently await his explanation. A sign of confusion creeps into my face.

"Are they drugged or what?" I hiss in low voice, not to alert he people around us in total calm, creating a bizzare background in the room.

"You are an experience drinker right? You pick up stimuli stuff from the blood. We cater to that here. Naw clean living."
He smiles.
"Even if you too far most of em are down to leave with a smile on their face but try not to. Diminishes the stock of willing participants, ya dig?"

"How do you...? You mean there are more like... me?"

I almost grab the man by his clothes as i desperately wish to meet another of my kind. To share, to... Not be alone. To be understood...
On my mind a primal fury flashes red painted images of savage drinking orgy, but with uneasy gut i am able to drive them back with the feelings of intense mental anguish i had collected in my late years living with the curse i have.

"Tell me!" I plead again, my only hope to escape this dredful longing i feel might be lessened by making aquintance with someone such as i.

He looks at you almost pity.
"Yeah. There's others who get more than the red stuff. One doc calls it sanguary animism or some shit like that. No gaurentees but if you wanna talk to another trade notes, I could maybe make that happen, for a minor boon."
He grins.

Grinning or not, there is just a slight pause.
"To hell with minor..."

"Yes! Ask away. I am well aquainted with being demanded to perform this or that, as a technician for hire, and as a childer. I presume my sire got a word to you, right? I cant help but feel this is one of his plans happening."

He can tell you ain't even trying to poker face you want this.

At mention of your sire he pauses.
"Yeah...alright so tell you what. You feed here cause of him. This is extra. So, what I want is I want him to tell my future. I hear he ain't never wrong."

I take a pause and measure the person.

"The future is a fickle and dangerous thing. Be careful what you wish for is the saying. It might come true. Prophercies arent easy or on demand, but we can manage. Is... There anything in particular you are interested in knowing? We might need some of your blood, or a drink from your ghoul, to avoid any unpleasant side effects of the attempted divination."

"Should i tell him that it would be mostly me doing the divining and my sire declaring the prophercy?"

"Also, it might take some time. Our gifts are wide and picking a single thread out of the tapestry might not come as easily as identifying the pattern."